The inglorious microbook of Genesis, unchained

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Formerly Member of H&PC Today Scientific Advisory Board

In the beginning God created the heavens and earth; but the earth was formless and confused, darkness cast down on the primal flood and God’s spirit hovered atop the waters. On the first day, God said: “Let there be light.” And there was light. In the following three days He beautified earth and firmament. On the fifth day, God said: “Let the land bring forth all manner of single-celled beings, Micros.” And it was so. God blessed them and said: “Be fruitful and multiply and populate the waters and the land.” The Micros thus colonized all regions of the earth, capable of adapting to any conditions, the most pleasant and the most inhospitable, alike. God’s work thrived. However, some Micros became disillusioned after three billion years of cheerful togetherness. They complained to God that their basic nutrient sources were, well, bland and boring. God heard them and created the animals that served the Micros as a new substrate. Eight million years ago, the Micros again became unhappy. They demanded an intellectual nutritional supplement. So, God created man. The Micros were thrilled and populated this new habitat with its untold pleasures, pleased as can be. They s ...